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Note: I am not the number one buckaroo at the Grammer Rodeo!! So you have to take the story as it is and correct the grammer and spelling from your side. It reads like I talk. " After
the Iditarod, my daughter and I decided to do a little camping. My nephew knew
of a cabin up at Two Bears Alaska and asked the owner if we could use it. He
said yes but that it was locked up and he could not get with us in time to give
us a key. However, he said that there was good level ground to put a tent by his
fire pit. He said if worse came to worse we could kick the door down and use the
cabin if need be. Before my nephew would let us go we had to have “Well”,
says “I
don’t know about most people.” said Jerry, “But I shoot them.” “I
don’t have a gun.” I said “Can I borrow yours?”
So he loaned me a rifle. Now
at Wal-Mart they sell a bear kit for campers that has in it a bear alarm. A bear
alarm is a battery powered alarm that
when the pin ispulled it goes off and scares the bear away and wakes you up. You
hang it in a tree and tie a cord to the pull pin and stretch the cord around the
camp so that if a bear comes into your camp he pulls the cord and sets off the
alarm. It also has in these
silverbells that have clips on them so they will attach to your cloths so that
you tinkle when you walk. This is supposed to alert the bear that you are coming
so that he can get out of the area or set the table so to speak. There is also a
can of pepper spray. How
do you act if you see a bear? If
you meet a bear what ever you do, don’t run. Bears are hunters, if you run,
“The Hunt is on” The bear will
chase you down and eat you. So do not run. Stand tall say "Hell-O bear! I
am a human and not part of your food chain." If the bear attacks stand
still 95% of all attacks are just to see if you will run, and the bear will veer
off at the last moment. If he does not veer off then that is what the pepper spray
is for. Spray and fight back. I had always thought that if you see a bear you
follow three simple steps Scream
;Run ; Change underwear. We
learned what to do if you see a moose to. Now
moose are territorial they want you out of there territory. So you should run
they will be glad to see you go, but if you stand fast they will take action
against you and may stomp you to death. It is
good to know if bear or moose are in the area before you set up camp. You don't
want to be surprised. The way you find out if there are any around is, you look
for there "scat" Scat is
the scientific name for "POO".
So you have to look for the poo. Now
Moose poo is very small and looks like brown nuts. Not for eating. Black bear
poo is black and has berry's and seeds in it.
Grizzly or brown bear poo is gray in color and is full of silver bells
and smells like pepper. Armed
with this knowledge and equipment Jerry flew us out to Two Bears and said he
would be back the following night to pick us up. Wouldn’t
you know that when we got off the plane, I forgot the bear alarm.
I did, however, have a case of Alaskan Amber. I knew that you could take
a beer can and put some rocks in it and a cord through the pull tab and when the
cord is shaken the can will rattle. That would serve as a wake up call if a bear
wondered into the camp. So I drank the beer and made an alarm with the cans.
With all in order we went bedded down for the night. Now
anyone who has drunk that much beer can tell you that you don’t stay bedded
down long. I got up and went outside to relive myself. Not being in my right
mind, so to speak, I forgot about the trap. I tripped and got all tangled in the
cord. I was caught in my own trap, if you know what I mean.
When I stood up I was looking at a Moose just out of the clearing at my
12 O’clock .
“Run from a Moose!!” Flashed
in my mind. It was then that I saw
the bear. He was at my 2 O’clock. Whatever you do don’t run from a
bear!!.” At my 11 O’clock was
Porcupine that had just come along to see how this was going to turn out. Well I
did not know what to do. Run from the moose or stand my ground for the bear.
Fortunately my decision was made for me when the moose attacked.
I turned and ducked. The antler caught me just be hind the neck and on to
the collar of my coat and I found my self on the horns of a dilemma with a bear
behind and a porcupine, who had just come along to see how this was going to
play out. Now I was dangling from this antler like an ornament of some kind and
I was just in the peripheral vision of the moose. So he started spinning tiring
to get me in his sites. Looking back this probably saved my life. On about the
3rd time he turned around I saw the gun barrel come out of the folds of the
tent. When the gun went off the bullet
struck the antler just beside my head, breaking me loose. For a minute there I
found myself bear back. The porcupine who had decided that this thing wasn’t
playing out like he thought it would just did not get the point. I, however did
get the point when I
came off the bear and landed on the porcupine.
That did it for me. I headed for the cabin. It
did not take much to get the door open and what a surprise when we entered.
There was a big Caribou mount hanging
on the wall. Biggest Antlers I have ever seen.
On the floor was a silver wolf skin rug, soft as silk.
I hung my clothes on the antlers of the Caribou head and climbed into
bed. Next
morning the Caribou head and my clothes were gone and there was a window where
the Caribou head had been. I got so mad I stomped my foot on that silver wolf
skin. That
was the last thing I remember. Woke up in the hospital spent a week there.
I am feeling much better now. Scars are healing nicely.
Went to the Hog Towne Fair and as you can see I had a little protection from the "Barbarian". He is the babe magnet of the fair. I know, I put on a little weight. Oh!! but the food was good. I had a great time. Wish I had seen you there. Next year I will be selling the bones of the disciple Bob. Did not have any this year. Gave away indulgences. Anyone need sin protection? Just give me a call. See below for "MY LOOK" at the joust.
For Sale!!!! The CD's that you all have waited for.
Don Leonard "Have Stories Will Tell" and "Let Me Tell You a Story" Bob Cork --"Foggy River Stories" and "Duncan of French Lick"
The Ocali Story telling guild "Just for the Telling" Jacques Dore "A Poor Knight of Christ " stories from medievil history. . "I Owe Every Thing I am Today to Jack Daniel's" and a New one "Snow Dogs" Record your stories with CopelandMedia. We can produce most CD's for $5.00 each. Price encludes recording and editing, art work and packaging. Just e-mail Jack Need a good story teller contact Jack at jack@jackcopeland.com CopelandMedia as a new service. We will put any record on CD. How about those old 78's that grandma has that you can't play anymore, old 45's or even thoese old 8 tracks that you would like to hear once more, maybe while in the car. Just give us a call. Or e-mail Jack all antique records treated with the greatest of care. We also record personal histories. Just e-mail Jack and we will give you the details. . CD's listed above are $12.00. I will pay the shipping. What a deal. Order in bulk and I will give you a better rate. You got to love this kind of deal. These CD's are produced by CopelandMedia, and you know how good they are. They're good. |
I guess everyone knows that the number "42" is the answer to LIFE and everything. I left this picture of the Ocala Storytelling Festival because I like it.
